Morris Dancing

Remember the hated school dancing class?
We boys thought the whole thing an utter farce.
Then he put us lads in quite a whirl,
Would we like to dance without a girl?

He told the dance wouldn't be the same.
"Okay", we said, put us all in the frame.
He had us marching around the hall,
Weeded out those who were far too small.

We marched with our arms down to the side,
Why this was required of us, he did not confide.
He had us face in two equal lines,
This time we had to just mark time.

Then it got more difficult; oh brother!
When one leg was up, hop on the other.
At this stage we had no qualms,
Told us how to swing our arms.

Then we were marching, hopping an' prancing,
Surely this was a funny way to be dancing?
He told us when ready, we'd perform at various places,
That put a smile on our boyhood faces!

When younger we'd danced around the Maypole,
But this was much more difficult on the whole.
He had us hold a cloth as we flayed the air,
"Don't drop them, make sure you hold it there!"

At last we asked "Come on, sir! What are we doing?"
At that point he could see trouble was brewing.
"Before I tell you, first we do the sticks.
Now mind your fingers, they are hard to fix."

"Now gather 'round lads, this is the story.
Before long you'll be covered in glory.
No longer will you be a group of chancers,
When I've finished, I'll make you fine Morris Dancers."

Not to do this by half, but to do it well,
Issued white shirt, hat, trousers and a thing of bell.
The bell shin pad, we tied around our calf,
Our performance improved by at least half.

When the bells did jingle and dangle,
Our flags on sticks, took on the same angle.
Our school master, performing at our head,
Danced around the country, no more to be said.

To do it, it seemed to us such a joy,
And no! We didn't feel like a Nancy boy!
We only did it, just that one year,
As awkwardness of youth forbade, I fear.